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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

So is the Life....

...of a military wife. 

As you all know, Travis deployed at the beginning of April.


I haven't really mentioned much about it since he has left. Just trying to focus on getting things done before Baby M arrives. 

You may recall my post back in January about finding out he was going to be deploying and possibly not be around for Baby M's birth. It was a bit of a venting session for me and explaining how I felt about everything. 

Well, we found out last week that Travis will NOT be able to come home for Baby M's birth. 
We knew the chances were slim but I was trying to stay positive and it SUCKED to officially get the word that he was not coming home.

So now I get to join in the ranks of giving birth without her husband by her side. 
I know MANY woman do this alone but I REALLY didn't want to do this by myself. Well, I guess it is what it is and I am keeping my head held high and moving on like I have done in the past. I shed my tears and now I'm focusing on the last few weeks/days I have left of this pregnancy.



I still absolutely HATE the fact that he will not be meeting his baby girl until she is about 6 mths old. I know people say, "she won't remember a thing" but babies change SO much in the beginning and he will just have to watch it all through pictures.
I know we will try to Skype more once she is born but I am also so nervous that she is going to scared of him once he gets home not knowing who the random guy is suddenly in our lives.
Hopefully, she will recognize his voice from Skype and the videos Travis recorded of himself reading books to her before he left. We'll see!

My hospital has the capability to skype in the rooms so we are hoping that we will be able to at least do that so Travis can experience something with me. So now, here's to hoping that he will be available at the time of labor! 


A friend of mine tagged me on FB to this poem about a Military Wife and I just wanted to share it on here as well.

A Military Wife

The military wife can handle... 

-- Lots of moving... Moving... Moving... Moving far from home... Moving two cars, three kids and one dog...all riding with HER of course. Moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house; Moving curtains that won't fit; Moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours. Moving away from friends; Moving toward new friends; Moving her most important luggage: her trunk full of memories. 

Often waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting for housing. Waiting for orders. Waiting for deployments. Waiting for phone calls. Waiting for reunions. Waiting for the new curtains to arrive. Waiting for him to come home, For dinner...AGAIN! 

They call her 'Military Dependent', but she knows better: She is fiercely In-Dependent. 

 She can balance a check book; Handle the yard work; Fix a noisy toilet; Bury the family pet... 

She is intimately familiar with drywall anchors and toggle bolts. She can file the taxes; Sell a house; Buy a car; Or set up a move... .....all with ONE Power of Attorney. 

She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her. She reinvents her career with every PCS; Locates a house in the desert, The Arctic, Or the deep south. And learns to call them all 'home'. She MAKES them all home. 

Military Wives are somewhat hasty... They leap into: Decorating, Leadership, Volunteering, Career alternatives, Churches, And friendships. They don't have 15 years to get to know people. Their roots are short but flexible. They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them. 

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other: They connect over coffee, Rely on the spouse network, Accept offers of friendship and favors. Record addresses in pencil... 

Military Wives have a common bond: The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands; his commitment is unique. He doesn't have a 'JOB' He has a 'MISSION' that he can't just decide to quit... He's on-call for his country 24/7. But for her, he's the most unreliable guy in town! His language is foreign TDY, PCS, OPR, SOS, ACC, BDU, ACU, BAR, CIB, TAD, And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his. She is the long- distance link to keep them informed; the glue that holds them together. 

A Military Wife has her moments: She wants to wring his neck; Dye his uniform pink; Refuse to move to Siberia; But she pulls herself together. Give her a few days, A travel brochure, A long hot bath, A pledge to the flag, A wedding picture, And she goes. She packs. She moves. She follows. 

Why? What for? How come? You may think it is because she has lost her mind. But actually it is because she has lost her heart. It was stolen from her by a man, Who puts duty first, Who longs to deploy, Who salutes the flag, And whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military Husband, She will remain his military wife. And would have it no other way. 

--Author Unknown

 So, I would still greatly appreciate any prayers you would like to say for Travis' safe return in December so he will finally be able to hold his baby girl for the first time. 




allison

29 comments:

  1. You've got the prayers of the Air Force wife:) (safety for him and strength for you)

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  2. So sorry to hear that hubby will not be home for the birth. Not only will that be hard on you but I am sure it will be on him also. Send lots of pics to him to have and hold till he gets home. Thanks for sharing, you will be in my thoughts.

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  3. Oh, I can't imagine, you are both in my prayers!

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  4. Allison, I'm so sorry to hear that your hubby can't be there with you. :( No words can describe how upset I'd be about the news, but I can say THANK YOU to your husband and your family for your continued sacrifices and dedication for our country. It's extremely admirable and he's truly a hero--as are you for putting on a brave face and doing what you need to do. Thank you and God Bless.

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  5. I'm definitely keeping you in my thoughts over the next few months, Allison. I know this will be hard, but once Baby M is here, she will rule your world. Your bonding time with her will be magical!! I *love* that Travis read books on video for her! That has got to be the sweetest thing I've heard of in a while. I have a feeling she will definitely know him when he gets back in December. *Big hugs*, my friend!

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  6. This gave me chills & made me tear up @ the same time! I've been there & done that, so I know how your feeling during deployment! Always hoping & praying for safety & safe return...that sucks pretty bad that he will not be home, did u guys check with the redcross on him being able to go live with you @ the birth? theyll put him in a room all to his own to go thru the birthing w/u! My friend had to do that when her hubs didnt get to come home for her birth. maybe that'll help a little! My hooah will deploy when urs gets back, I am NOT ready! But I pray for ur hubbys safe return girl & I hope that the time passes quickly so he can hurry home! (:
    -Carrie Eve @
    www.a-hooahs-housewife.blogspot.com

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  7. I'm sorry you are having to go through that. My daughter is a R&R baby so my hubby was gone for a lot of the pregnancy part but was here for the birth. Which we were thankful for but i've had several friends that did have to deliver without their hubbies with them. It's tough but just like a good military wife does they pull up their boot strings and get through it. I know you will do the same. :) I will pray that he gets to be available to skype when you go into labor, that would be a blessing.

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  8. It stinks that he won't be able to come home for the birth. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  9. You are such a strong woman my friend!! :) You have a great attitude, but yes it will definitely be a hard thing! But your family will definitely appreciate being together! So many take it for granted. I want to make a trip down there and see you soon! Love you girl!

    PS Hooray for Travis serving our country. So appreciate the sacrifices that military families like yours make!

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  10. I'm so sorry he won't be able to be with you for the birth of your daughter or the first 6 months of her life! Surround yourself with friends and family that will help you and keep you strong. Prayers for a healthy baby girl and your husband's safe return home! Thinking of you :o)

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  11. Oh Allison, you've got me in tears today! You are so brave and I love your attitude. You and Travis both will be in my prayers!

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  12. Well Allison, I have to say that you are amazing!! I've had a rough couple of day, and when I read this it helped me to let out my ugly cry that I have been holding in. I wish all of your bloggy friends could rally around you during your delivery (ok maybe in the halls) and be there for support. I pray for 3 thing... #1 that you and baby M are healthy and safe #2 that Travis is able to skype during the birth and #3 most importantly that Travis can make it home in December, and NO LATER to be with the family. hugs to you my friend, you are amazing!!!

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  13. Thoughts and prayers be with you.
    Sad thing that he can't be around when the baby is born but take lots of videos from day of birth and remaining months he will be gone till your man comes home. Granted, won't be the same as he being there in person but maybe him seeing the videos would be the next best thing.
    ColleenB.
    Also wanted to say Thanks to All our men and women serving in all branches of the military for the fine job that they all due to keep our country safe.

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  14. I'm a new follower & just had to tell you how heartbroken I am. My husband, Travis, is a Veteran & while I didn't know him when he was in the service, I couldn't even imagine how it would be to see him go. You & your Travis are in my thoughts.

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  15. Praying for both of you since he can't come home and for a healthy baby and delivery! My husband was in the Marine Corps so I know how difficult it can be and some of the letdowns you experience! Hang in there!

    Amber

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  16. Oh Allison, I'm so sorry to hear this :( I shed a little tear for you...and then said a prayer in the next breath! I'm so sorry that it's official :( I know you're heard everything I would try to say right now to make this "easier" - so I'll just pray for you guys!!! *hugs*!

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  17. That totally sucks, no nice way of putting it. My husband, Adam, spent six years in the Army (just recently got out)and was overseas for 2.5 of those years. I didn't have to give birth without him, but I understand how hard deployments are. You can do this though! Skype really is such a blessing and was a total lifesaver for us. Praying for you!

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  18. I hope and pray that everything goes well and your husband makes it safe and on time to hold his precious baby and spend that wonderful moment with you and you all as a family. I also pray that this whole time passes by happy and the baby and you are healthy. :)xo

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  19. I am sorry to hear that. I wouldn't want to give birth without my husband right there with me. But baby M won't wait, and giving birth to her will be the most amazing experience ever in your life. With or with out your husband there. Make sure you have a lot of food in your freezer, so that you can eat well when you get home :-). I will be sending all three of you good vibes, and wishing you a swift reunion!

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  20. Oh Alison,

    Your post made me cry. Well pray for our military men and woman, we want them to return soon and safely, but I think we tend to forget all the sacrifices that you spouses and families make every single day! I can only imagine how upsetting it must be to find out that Travis won't be with you for the birth of Baby M. People mean well when they say stupid spthngs like "well they won't remember the first 6 months anyway", so try to forgive them. When I lost a baby years ago my ex-MIL actually said to me"well, you can always have another one", as if you just forget your child and go out and buy another! But, in time I realized she was just so uncomfortable with my grief she didn't know what to say.

    I am glad that Skype exists and that (hopefully) Travis can experience some of the birth with you. And Baby M will know his voice and she will feel your love and happiness at his return and she will love her daddy.

    I am keeping you extra close in my prayers as you go through this time. Let yourself be upset, you have the right, and then move on and have that beautiful little girl who is going to steal your heart away! You are going to be such an amazing Mom, and you already are an amazing woman and wife.

    Thank you for your sacrifice and for the service that you and Travis give our country every day. Forgive us when we forget that you live this every single day, we are thankful!

    May God bless you all through this journey.

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  21. My heart goes out to you. I will keep all three of you in my prayers. Good luck!

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  22. It may be his signature on the dotted line, but military wives (and husbands) also are making sacrifices and serving your country, too! Prayers for you all.

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  23. ((((Hugs))))) I am sorry to hear that he will not be able to be there and I truly hope you will be able to Skype. I will be saying some prayers for your family.

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  24. Well that just stinks. I really hope your husband is able to watch the birth via Skype. He's going to miss out on all those early things that photos simply cannot convey, and that's terribly sad, but it's still going to be pure magic when they do finally meet in December. Wishing you all a very happy reunion.

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  25. You are a very brave momma! I hope all goes well and thank God for Skype! I know it will be difficult doing all this while you husband is deployed. Missing the memories that you want to create can be the hardest part. You will create your own unique ones and always be able to tell your child that. Thinking of you!

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  26. Oh Allison, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry he won't be with you. If it helps, my husband almost had a panic attack at the birth of our first baby. I hope that all goes smooth for you and that your family and friends can be there for you. We only have a few weeks left. I keep hoping, she will be here this week....we will see, somehow I think not :) Good Luck!

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  27. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Military families are the strongest and bravest out there. Big hugs.

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  28. It broke my heart when I read that your hubby wouldn't be at the birth of your baby M - I do want to THANK YOU so much for your sacrifice for our country & for his service. May God bless you all!

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